The Bored Housewife
by Call Me Nettie
Summary: This is my interpretation of Miriam's smoothie addiction.


4

 **A/N** There's been lots of references to Helga's mom's attachment to her favorite blender and those delicious smoothies. It's pretty much common lore that she indeed has a drinking problem. If that's really the case one can't help but wonder about how she ended up that way. In the episode titled "The Beeper Queen" Big Bob hurt his back and Miriam had to cover for him at the store. This is where we see a transformation in her. In my story "Desire" I allude to the possibility that perhaps it was boredom that drove her to drink. I'm sure I'm not the first or only one to think this but this is my interpretation of that theory. Disclaimer: I do not own any part of HA.

 **The Bored Housewife**

Part 1

The alarm goes off and the incessant buzzing drives into her head like an icepick, sharp and paralyzing. Her arm flings out and her fingers search for the off button. It's early and still dark outside as she nudges her husband, trying to wake him. He grumbles for a bit before barking, "I'm up, I'm up!" He lumbers out of bed and she takes a few minutes to close her eyes, waiting for the icepick to recede from her forehead. Hearing the shower turn on in the bathroom is her que to drag herself out of bed and down to the kitchen. Sliding her feet into her worn, but comfortable slippers, she shuffles her way into the kitchen to make Big Bob's breakfast. It's the same thing, day in, day out. Two eggs over easy, four slices of bacon, wheat toast lightly buttered but slathered with jelly and coffee, black. She eyes her blender sitting on the counter near the stove and forces herself to resist the call of it until their younger daughter, Helga, has gone off to school. She settles instead for a mug of hot, black coffee. She walks to the front door to get the morning newspaper because she knows her husband will be wanting to catch up on all the latest happenings before heading off to his day, taking his place in the world as the self-proclaimed beeper king of Hillwood. Opening the door the bright sun that has now risen blinds her, prompting the ice pick to rear its ugly head again. She shields her eyes from the sun's morning rays and retrieves the paper. "At least the paperboy made it to the steps this time." She comments to no one. She shuffles back inside returning to the kitchen where Big Bob has found his breakfast and is digging in.

"Here ya go B." She says as she hands him the paper.

"Thanks, Miriam." He answers without as much as a glance her way. He's too busy working on a text to some supplier who sent the wrong color beepers or some such tragedy.

Looking at the clock she sees it's time to get Helga up. She knocks on the door persistently, calling Helga's name as she does, until her daughter yells out, "All right, all right, I'm up all ready. Crimeny!"

An hour later the house is empty save for her. She takes a shower but it does nothing to lessen the horrid depression that presses down on her. It seems to just push and push, saying to her, "Look at you, you're a mess! Why don't you do something with yourself?"

She stops the voices the only way she knows how, with her trusty blender. "You understand me, don't you," She thinks to it as she fills it with the usual ingredients. Although the ratio of solids to liquid has changed over the years. Filling her glass she walks over to the couch letting the first sip of smoothie work its way down her throat. With each sip the voices get fainter and fainter until she is finally free of them. She lays there remembering how it wasn't always like this. What happened to that young, vibrant straight A student that she was all through school? Her mind wanders back, back to a time where she would have never dreamed she'd end up like this.

It was Junior year of college. She was on the football field, pom-poms in hand, watching as the star quarterback ran for the winning touchdown. Bob wasn't the only star athlete of the pair, she too had her achievements. She not only won the state championship in swimming but she was an accomplished equestrian too. They were the perfect couple, head cheerleader hanging on the arm of the star quarterback. Both A students with bright futures ahead of them. She had dreams, she wanted to make something of her life. She pictured herself the CEO of some Fortune 500 company. A true career girl. She'd shudder whenever someone would tease about her and Big Bob Pataki, getting married and raising a brood of kids. It wasn't the thought of Bob that turned her off, it was the thought of being a mother. Strapped to a life of carpools, doctor appointments and teacher meetings. Nope, not her. At least that's what she thought, until that morning right out of college when she went running to the bathroom and spent a good hour bowing down to the porcelain god.

After having her OBGYN confirm what she already knew she went to Bob and after discussing all the options available they decided to keep the baby. They got married in an over the top ceremony with everyone they knew in attendance.

When their first child, Olga, came they were happy. Bob's business had begun to take off and they'd be ok. When Olga turned five and started school Miriam mentioned in passing that she thought she'd like to get a job and do something constructive while their daughter was in school. That's when Big Bob laid down the law.

"No wife of mine is going to work! No sir! So between his overbearing nature and her penchant to not want to start trouble. Miriam became the stay at home housewife she swore she never would be.

As Olga grew Miriam began to see a lot of herself in her. Olga was a bright student with a desire to go out and change the world. Miriam began to live her life vicariously through her daughter which, in doing so, made her slowly lose a big part of herself. By the time Helga came along Miriam was at the very top of her slow spiral down. She'd felt bad for Helga, realizing that she wasn't being the type of mother her child deserved but she just couldn't help it. Her grasp was slipping and she couldn't hold on.

So many more years came and went. By the time Helga started high school Miriam had lost the battle. She couldn't even allow herself to take part in the joy of Helga's first boyfriend. She was glad in her own way though for Helga. She liked this Arnold kid. There was something about him that always seemed to lift her spirits a bit when he was around. She felt he'd be good for Helga and tried to encourage the relationship the best she could.

Then the day came when Arnold had come to the house without Helga knowing it to ask her father for Helga's hand in marriage. Bob was gruff with him, he didn't think Arnold was good enough for the daughter of the now Electronics King of Hillwood. But a softer side of him had seen the look in Helga's eyes whenever Arnold was around so he relented and the two were engaged to be wed and the couple had given themselves a little over a year to plan their destination wedding.

So here she now was, laying on the couch, empty smoothie glass in hand thinking about her daughter's wedding which was now only fifteen months away. She got up off the couch and noticed that once again the time had slipped away from her. She walked over to the window and stared at the busy street. The neighborhood school, PS118, had let out and the sidewalks were filled with children making their way home. She spied a girl in a little pink dress and it drew her mind to Helga. She had missed out on Helga's childhood but did that mean she had to miss out on her adult life too?

The voices in her head started to come back right then. Telling her that she wasn't worthy of a happily ever after. She threw her hands to her head and shouted, "NO! I'M NOT GOING TO LISTEN TO YOU ANYMORE! I _DO_ DESERVE TO BE HAPPY AND THERE IS NOTHING THAT IS GOING TO STOP ME!"

After finally hitting the bottom of her spiral and seeing that there was nothing there for her she knew what she had to do. So she admitted to herself that she had a problem. It was like a weight was beginning to be lifted off her shoulders. She knew it was going to be hard and there may be times that she'd stumble. She knew how important keeping up appearances was to Bob but she also knew that deep down he loved her and would stand by her. She had fifteen months. She didn't know at what stage of her recovery she'd be at in fifteen months but she'd never find out until she took that first step. So with shaky hands she reached for her cell phone and began her journey.

 **The End**


End file.
